Post by Hulk Hogan 1 Fan on Jun 7, 2008 12:59:04 GMT -5
The gal that I have a crush is more my age. As always, I never thought that I'd feelings for her (isn't that always the case---lol?)
I'll call her M. I've actually known this person since my freshman year of high school (the 1988-89 school year). She was in the same biology class that I was that year. I didn't have feelings for her then. I don't think that she knew that I was alive. I didn't really talk to her during the rest of high school.
Fast forward to November 2007-----Her & I have been censor friends for quite some time but never really spoke to each other. I get a censor message from her and in it she asked if I'd be interested in riding the Amtrak train from downtown Dallas to Longview, TX. Longview is the closest point to our hometown of Daingerfield. Keep in mind that this was close to Thanksgiving. I replied and told her that I couldn't because I would already be there. I could've left it at that but we started talking. Something happened---we started to get to really know each other.
At the time, she was going through a divorce (her 2nd). Being that we graduated high school together (go Class of 1992), I thought it'd be best to be a friend to her. We started sending messages to each other. We kept it short but it was still informative.
It then progressed to actually getting each other's actual email addresses and then each other's cell phone #s.
It was early December that we finally met each other after YEARS of not seeing each other. We had a really good time. At the time, it was 2 friends just getting together---nothing more.
As the days and weeks went on, for me something happened. I really started liking M. As usual, I tried to supress my feelings for her because she was a friend of mine. We got to be really close so quickly. We had trusted each other with our feelings. Her divorce was finalized and she was on the market.
It was always difficult though to see each other because she lived in Fort Worth as I lived in nearby Irving. It wasn't impossible but it was difficult. For her, she was the one that had custody of her son. Getting some alone time is hard for her.
In April, I kinda told her that I had a crush on her. All she said was, that's cute.
For my birthday, M did the unexpected. She sent me a candy bouquet to my office. I had NEVER gotten anything sent to me to my office like that. So, I was the most popular person in my office that day. It was amazing. I had to call her about that and thank her. A few days later, M took me out of my birthday a little late. We went to Olive Garden.
All this time though, she had NO IDEA how I felt about her. All this time (and I guess that's how it is now), she's been on dates but nothing serious.
A few weeks ago, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell her. I asked her if there was any chance that I could get an official date with her. She never said no but she gave her reasons why she couldn't/wouldn't/shouldn't.
1. She never dates friends.
2. She's a TOTALLY DIFFERENT person on dates than with friends.
3. She's more attentive towards friends than with dates/boyfriends. (whatever that means)
4. She's a bad dater.
She said that she's honest with her friends, but there was something about her reasons that didn't sit well with me.
Is she afraid to commit? Maybe.
Like I said, she's been divorced 2. I never met her ex-hubbys. From talking to a close friend of mine, those guys were jerks anyway.
I've tried recently to get her out of my head and she always seems to be coming back to my thoughts. I care about her so much. There have been occasions that I cry myself to sleep (I have no problem admitting that) because I want to be with her.
I've done a lot for her in the short time I've reconnected with her. I've found her a babysitter for her son (looking back, I should've volunteered). I've sent her cards.
Part of me feels that she knows that I mean everything I saw to her when it comes to my feelings. I think that she doesn't want to face that possibility that maybe the right person (that's me) is willing to be that person to her who'll treat her with respect that she deserves.
We've always met for lunch every other Sunday because she has book club meeting near where I live. We've never had the chance to meet up for dinner. That'll all change next week (knock on wood) when we supposed to have dinner with her in her neck of the woods (Fort Worth). She's always picked out the place where we're supposed to have dinner. I don't if anyone else is joining us or not (there's a possibility that her's son's babysitter who is also my friend could be joining us). Her son's babysitter/my friend is another story. I am hoping it's just the two us. Maybe a dinner may give us time to relax.
I don't if I should try to tell her again how I feel or just try to be the friend that I am to be.
I'll call her M. I've actually known this person since my freshman year of high school (the 1988-89 school year). She was in the same biology class that I was that year. I didn't have feelings for her then. I don't think that she knew that I was alive. I didn't really talk to her during the rest of high school.
Fast forward to November 2007-----Her & I have been censor friends for quite some time but never really spoke to each other. I get a censor message from her and in it she asked if I'd be interested in riding the Amtrak train from downtown Dallas to Longview, TX. Longview is the closest point to our hometown of Daingerfield. Keep in mind that this was close to Thanksgiving. I replied and told her that I couldn't because I would already be there. I could've left it at that but we started talking. Something happened---we started to get to really know each other.
At the time, she was going through a divorce (her 2nd). Being that we graduated high school together (go Class of 1992), I thought it'd be best to be a friend to her. We started sending messages to each other. We kept it short but it was still informative.
It then progressed to actually getting each other's actual email addresses and then each other's cell phone #s.
It was early December that we finally met each other after YEARS of not seeing each other. We had a really good time. At the time, it was 2 friends just getting together---nothing more.
As the days and weeks went on, for me something happened. I really started liking M. As usual, I tried to supress my feelings for her because she was a friend of mine. We got to be really close so quickly. We had trusted each other with our feelings. Her divorce was finalized and she was on the market.
It was always difficult though to see each other because she lived in Fort Worth as I lived in nearby Irving. It wasn't impossible but it was difficult. For her, she was the one that had custody of her son. Getting some alone time is hard for her.
In April, I kinda told her that I had a crush on her. All she said was, that's cute.
For my birthday, M did the unexpected. She sent me a candy bouquet to my office. I had NEVER gotten anything sent to me to my office like that. So, I was the most popular person in my office that day. It was amazing. I had to call her about that and thank her. A few days later, M took me out of my birthday a little late. We went to Olive Garden.
All this time though, she had NO IDEA how I felt about her. All this time (and I guess that's how it is now), she's been on dates but nothing serious.
A few weeks ago, I couldn't take it anymore. I had to tell her. I asked her if there was any chance that I could get an official date with her. She never said no but she gave her reasons why she couldn't/wouldn't/shouldn't.
1. She never dates friends.
2. She's a TOTALLY DIFFERENT person on dates than with friends.
3. She's more attentive towards friends than with dates/boyfriends. (whatever that means)
4. She's a bad dater.
She said that she's honest with her friends, but there was something about her reasons that didn't sit well with me.
Is she afraid to commit? Maybe.
Like I said, she's been divorced 2. I never met her ex-hubbys. From talking to a close friend of mine, those guys were jerks anyway.
I've tried recently to get her out of my head and she always seems to be coming back to my thoughts. I care about her so much. There have been occasions that I cry myself to sleep (I have no problem admitting that) because I want to be with her.
I've done a lot for her in the short time I've reconnected with her. I've found her a babysitter for her son (looking back, I should've volunteered). I've sent her cards.
Part of me feels that she knows that I mean everything I saw to her when it comes to my feelings. I think that she doesn't want to face that possibility that maybe the right person (that's me) is willing to be that person to her who'll treat her with respect that she deserves.
We've always met for lunch every other Sunday because she has book club meeting near where I live. We've never had the chance to meet up for dinner. That'll all change next week (knock on wood) when we supposed to have dinner with her in her neck of the woods (Fort Worth). She's always picked out the place where we're supposed to have dinner. I don't if anyone else is joining us or not (there's a possibility that her's son's babysitter who is also my friend could be joining us). Her son's babysitter/my friend is another story. I am hoping it's just the two us. Maybe a dinner may give us time to relax.
I don't if I should try to tell her again how I feel or just try to be the friend that I am to be.